Other Scripts

PRODUCER: Ah, there you are, my boy. Have a seat. Have a cigar. Or better yet, get out of my office.
PENNER: Excuse me, sir?
PRODUCER: You miserable excuse for a writer! People wouldn't listen to your plays if we broadcast them on the radio! Where's that script you promised me?
PENNER: Well, actually, sir, it's interesting that you should ask about that, since I've run into some, ah, complexities in the artistic process...
PRODUCER: I'm not paying you for "artistic process," I'm paying you for something I can produce!

from "The Adventures of Hansel and Gretel in the Fourth Dimension"

If you're interested in producing any of these scripts, please get in touch with me via our contact page. I reserve all rights to the listed texts and they cannot be produced without prior permission and royalty arrangement, for which my standard request is usually five percent of all box office receipts. I am, however, delighted to negotiate, based on a number of factors (ticket price, number of seats/performances, et cetera).

The Camelot Cycle

These plays reflect a lifelong obsession with Arthurian legend, and the body of medieval texts surrounding them, adapting the stories into a variety of different settings, styles, and genres. I see them as existing in, perhaps, the same kind of imaginative space, if not exactly the same continuity. They are self-contained and can be performed in isolation from each other.

The Rise of General Arthur
Broceliande: The Death of Merlin
Milton and Viv
The Risible Rise of Sir Dagonet the Fool
The Crimson Soldier
Camelot is Crumbling

The Pennerverse Plays

These plays are largely dialogue-driven situation comedies featuring Penner Theologius Pott, an anxiety-ridden writer who obsesses over the deconstruction of language, and the foibles of his bumbling brothers.

Miscellaneous Comedies

Lokasenna: The Adventures of Loki and Thor
Warrior Needs Food, Badly: The Journey to America